Iris' Birth Story

Alright I’m about to dump some detailed, gushy story time on you now. Sorry if it’s too much for you or you find you can’t relate to any of it and it just bores you.

First let me start off with the pregnancy.

I loved being pregnant.  The first couple of weeks I was tired as anything (which was fixed as soon as I brought my iron level up), and I hated the smell/look/taste of all foods. But that went away relatively soon. Other than thought it was really easy going and I was honestly the most healthy I had been in my life. And the best I had felt about myself appearance wise. I felt so comfortable in my own skin and apparently had the pregnancy "glow" so I got tons of compliments. I really loved being pregnant.

I was happy every time I went to the Doctor to hear her heart beat and I never got tired of feeling her move even when I was trying to sleep. But what was the most amazing to me was being able to see her on a screen and in 3D when she’s only 11ozs and under layers and layers of inners and it’s a perfect picture. I was speechless when I saw my baby on a sonogram screen. It made it seem all real to me.

Next phase of the pregnancy was freak out mode. I grew past the “aw I’m going to have a cute baby” to “Oh my gosh, this child’s life is in my hands”. I started thinking of everything that could go wrong. What if I don’t feed her enough? What if I don’t teach her manners well enough? What if she gets hurt and I’m not there? What if she feels like she can’t talk to me when she’s a teenager? Seriously, I thought of EVERYTHING and I’m really not a worrier usually. But what really got me was when it got really close to my due date.

See, the doctor told me that I should count on her coming early because she was really low and in position a lot earlier than most babies. Basically, my pelvic bone was a nice pillow to her that she just wanted to head bang on every once in a while. But my due date came and went and she was now late. I went into the doctor's and she said I had absolutely no sign of progressing into labor whatsoever. Not dilated, effaced, nada.

So then freak out started on the extreme level. The doctor said they would have to insert a drug called Cervedil internally through my girl parts (its great being a girl) which would soften my cervix, if that worked I would be induced into labor the following morning and deliver her by night. But if I didn’t get softened, they couldn't induce me which meant they’d have to do an emergency cesarean. So of course I focused on the bad instead of the good.

The night before I was scheduled to go to the hospital I asked my dad for a father's blessing just to calm my nerves and for guidance. My dad starts the blessing and says I am a strong woman who the Lord is well pleased in and I will withstand a trail that is relatable to what the Savior felt suffering in Gethsemane. Uhh…..thanks for calming my nerves! There was nothing in the blessing that said everything will go fine. Just that I’m a strong woman and I need this test. So needless to say I didn’t feel calm going into the hospital.

Now I’m at the hospital and I have the Cervedil inserted. It felt like spikes. Best feeling ever. Not. Keep in mind this will not put me into labor, but just soften me for them to put me into labor. Everything was fine, Tommi and I were watching TV and I felt nothing. The nurses checked me again and no progress was being made so we went to bed.

At about 4am I had the WORST stomach cramp of my life and I thought I just super had to go to the bathroom. So when I tried to get out of bed it multiplied by ten and nurses came rushing into my room. They said I was having contractions and they were only about 1 minute apart. I went from a 0 to a 6 in dilation in literally 3 minutes. No exaggeration. The nurses said they have never seen someone actually go into labor from Cervedil it’s just supposed to soften you. So labor wasn’t even supposed to be happening for me yet and what usually takes about 12-20 hours to do I shot to in 3 minutes. Awesome. Freaking Lamaze class lied.

I had never felt so much pain in my entire life I wanted to scream bloody murder but couldn’t because I was just so numb. The scariest part was that my legs were literally shaking uncontrollably. Tommi thought I was doing it to try to relieve the pain but I had no control over my body it really was scary. It’s like in a dream when you want to run fast so your inside you is telling you to run faster but the dream you isn’t. I was trying to control my body with my mind and it was just not happening.  I told the nurses I wanted an epidural but before they could give me one I had to have 2 bags of fluid pumped into me through an IV. So I went through contracting naturally at 6 cm dilated every minute for 45 minutes. I had tears of pain but no sound, I didn't complain because I knew I had to go through this for Iris.

And that was when it hit me. I was having my Gethsemane moment. 

I was in the worst pain in my life but I didn't cry, yell, or complain. I just laid there silent taking the pain in because it was all being done for a bigger purpose than myself. In that moment I had never felt so close to the Savior before. He must have felt numb like me; he must have had tears of pain. And I know he didn’t complain because he had to suffer the pain for me. Just like I was suffering for Iris. I can’t explain to you how beautiful of a moment that was and right in the middle of hard labor.

So finally the fluid was in me and this huge over 6 foot jacked dude with a heavy African accent comes in to give me my epidural. I'd normally be intimidated but I wanted to give this man a big bear hug. The nurses told me I had to remain extremely still because if he inserts it wrong I could become paralyzed. This is so easy to do when I’m having seizures without any kind of control over it. So one contraction ended the anesthesiologist inserts everything and has it out within the minute just in time for me to start the next contraction. So I didn't even have to hold still because he did it in between the contractions. Within 20 minutes I had the numb feeling and it was AH-MAZE-ING. Now I just had to wait until it was closer to game time.

At about 8am my midwife came in and said I was ready to start pushing. First there had to be NICU doctors on board because apparently Iris had swallowed meconium. So at 8:20am I did my first push and she said I did it wrong. Then I tried it again and her head came out, third push her whole body came out. WEIRDEST FEELING EVER. Like throwing up out of your legs. So Iris Ray Kitchens was born 8:25am May 31^st, 2012. Making my total time of delivery from start to finish 4 ½ hours.

I didn’t get to hold her right away because the midwife cut the cord and immediately gave her to the NICU doctors to suck everything out of her that she had swallowed. It only was about 2 minutes but it seemed like 2 hours. She was crying the whole time and I wanted to hold her! Finally she was handed to me and I instantly fell in love with her. I held her to my chest and she put her feet on my stomach and kicked herself up further and crawled into my neck and I just melted. She was so beautiful and perfect. My eternal companion and I were able to create a perfect, beautiful human being. How Godlike is that? It really opens the perspective of the eternal creations that we will still have. What started as just a bunch of cells turned into a 7lb 3 oz., 18 ½ in baby. It was a feeling like none other and just reminds you of your purpose of being here. We came here to get bodies and I just created one! It’s still surreal to me.

            

This whole experience has really made me appreciate my mom and dad so so so much more too. First off, I don’t know HOW my mom did 9 babies without drugs. Contractions are seriously the most painful thing ever. And I don’t know how she was this tired and still had all the kids above the newborn she had to take care of. And I don’t know how dad provided for all of us and kept his patience.

I’m learning so much just in the 9 weeks that I’ve had her in my life. And I admit writing this post has made me watery eyed at parts because she's already such a big baby and not my little newborn anymore. I thought I knew a lot with how many babies are in the family but it’s entirely different when you have the baby 24/7 and have to learn what she does and does not like. But I’ve enjoyed every minute of it. Even during the times I’ve only slept 20 minutes when I go to her crib she’s beaming at me and it makes it all worth it. I love fulfilling my calling in life :)

What I get to wake up to every day :D